Hearing your baby cry is one of the hardest things about infant parenting. Whether it is best to pick a baby up or let it cry is one of the most hotly debated infant parenting topics. Here we summarize some of the views.
The Truby King method of infant parenting has fallen out of favour in recent years. It is a model based on strict routines - no feeding on demand, strict bedtime routines, lots of fresh air for the baby, and certainly no sleeping with him in your bed. Followers of this method claim to have infants sleeping through the night within a month and to reduce parent tiredness, but opponents claim the method is a form of baby bullying and is too restrictive for parents to enjoy their children. If you follow the Truby King method, as long as you know your baby is fed and clean then you should let him cry himself to sleep.
In the 1960s, the best selling baby care book was written by Dr Benjamin Spock. After the strict upbringing that many children had before then, the ideas of Dr Spock were almost revolutionary. He claimed that all babies were individuals and that parents could learn how best to treat their infants by observing them and doing whatever feels right at the time. His philosophy of infant parenting was one of love, understanding and empathy, and he suggested that it was perfectly fine to pick your child up and comfort them if they were crying.
Another view on infant parenting is that advocated by followers of the Continuum Concept, which was popular in the 1970s. This method of parenting recommends holding your child constantly for the first 6 months and sleeping with them. Followers say that by putting your baby in a sling and carrying on with your normal life is what people do in many parts of the world, and that it builds happy, well-adjusted children, and reduces post-natal depression. Opponents believe that it stifles children's independence.
Today, most parents favour a mixture of these techniques. Babies are unique and you will know your child better than anyone else. Don't be afraid to let your baby cry for a while, as long as you know they are safe, clean, and not hungry. There is also nothing wrong with picking up your child to comfort them. Babies only cry when they need something, and that can be something as straightforward as a cuddle from mum or dad. Infant parenting is often scary for new parents; take your cues from your child and don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
